April 6, 2012

Amazingly, I got a lot accomplished today. I edited a lot of Flower photos of new product and listed quite a few too. I was able to finish my new Bow Ties and take really nice pictures of them too. I'm very happy that I bought the fabric and pulled these together.

Somehow the Bow Ties seem to relate more to jewelry, than Aprons or accessories to me. I really like making them. I need to find more fabrics that would be very enticing to men.

I also signed up for a social media blitz workshop at handmadeology. It's supposed to be for Etsy shops, but I think the basic info is good for anyone. First day was nothing I didn't know, but I'm sure it will get better. I'll let you know.

I really have to finish my two big things for my jewelry presentations, packaging and brochure. There are a few things I need to do to my flower jewelry website, but mostly that's good to go.

March 30, 2012

I've had such an exhausting month. I hope it was all worth it. Of course it wasn't all the work that made it exhausting, it was a lot of the extraneous things (life) that did it too. Family health issues, birthdays, the woman next door locking herself out at one in the morning after I worked for 14 hours straight and pounding on the door and screaming for a half hour before someone finally let her in. And no, she's not a drunk, just a little altered from her med cocktail.

I had a semi relaxing day. I haven't sold much this week so after watching my granddaughter most of the day, I cut out the few things I sold, did the dishes and some laundry. It was nice after all the work I did.

I had bought some colored pencils on line, and was expecting them at the Post Office. I guess the people at the Post Office didn't notice them, because my daughter didn't pick them up. What she did get, however, was my new post cards. Now, I just ordered these Monday from Vistaprint and I've NEVER received anything that quickly from them. They were horrible. Cropped wrong, wrong color, just horrible. I was so disappointed. I'm not sure what they were trying to accomplish working so quickly, but it didn't impress me. Now I either have to contact them and get a refund and look somewhere else or trust they will send me a new set with correct images.

This really sets me back on my brochure, but I do have time to get better prints. The cards I got were blown up and cropped off center and kind of pinkish brown instead of the nice pewter. Not terrible, but they don't match the business card I got PRINTED AT VISTAPRINT!!!! How can I send out something to potential clients that don't match? This has just been a cursed month and I suppose that because of it, none of my product designs will sell to the huge retailers that were presented with them.

One thing about all this work I've done the past three months is that I really love designing product. I like crafting, but I love designing. And I'm good at it too. I'll share my website when I'm finished, and you can see.

March 19, 2012

I was reminded today about the whole Cinderella thing. I think I may have mentioned why the name Cinders. It has to do with being called Cinderella as a young child in the hospital. Endearing terms for an ailing child, by interns and nurses. I was a pretty sickly little kid. I spent so much time in the hospital, that when I was finally healthy, I really missed it.

I began to think of myself in terms of Cinderella and her life, even getting a stepmother and 2 step sisters. I thought that when I grew up, Prince Charming would come and rescue me (never gonna happen). I loved the birds and the little mice too.

Cinders is a combination of Cinderella and Cindy and also my favorite Hans Christian Anderson tale, the Tinderbox. And it also represents recycling to me. From the cinders (or ashes) I can make something beautiful.

I didn't finish this post last night, so some people might have gotten my post emailed without the balance of my thoughts. Not that anyone is reading this one anyhow. My life has been so hectic lately that I'm leaving out steps all over the place. I just remembered that I forgot to cancel my car insurance 2 weeks ago. No car, no need for insurance. I have quite a few more important things too, before I get to that.

I spent the day sewing and then spending time with my cousins. I didn't even have a chance to draw or work on my brochure. But at least I got all of my sewing done. Hopefully I get more finished Tuesday, but it's not looking good. My daughter's birthday is tomorrow, I have to watch her baby while she works, package my sewing, grocery shop, and make her favorite cake.

March 16, 2012

No matter what you do, or what your plans, something will happen that will make a change in your life. It might be a good thing, or it might be a bad thing. You never know. Something bad might become something good in the end. I used to have a job and a nice house in New York State. I lost my job and eventually lost my house. The job market was terrible there, and I had a choice of moving, or freelance work. I chose freelance to keep my family there. I was so tired of moving.

When the economy crashed, things got much worse. Eventually we had to abandon our home and move back to our hometown, where relatives had a cheap rental we could live it. They had it because it was a mess. It actually rained in the living room when we moved in. The floors were mush from all the water, and there was mold everywhere. I had to staple up a plastic dropcloth with a hole positioned in just the right place to funnel the water into a trash can, that we had to empty regularly.

The bathroom was a horrid mess. The tub so bad that we would only shower with our eyes closed. It had been painted and peeled and stained rust with the iron in the water. I tried to remove the paint, but underneath was a pink, iron stained tub.

Eventually the relative put on a new roof, no ceiling for a year, but a roof. We eventually got a ceiling too. And we remodeled the bathroom ourselves, a display tub and relatively new sink and cabinets from a friend who remodeled their new home. It was so nice to take a bath again.

About the same time we lost our house, my cousin and her fiance lost their house too. Her father lived with her, and they all moved back to Cleveland. Her fiance got cancer and eventually passed away. But they were in town with his son and all of her family. It was a good thing that they lost their house.

Now her father, my cousin has cancer. It's not good. He may last a while, but it's not good. I just found out today, and have spent much of the day crying on and off. He and his brother are more like my brothers than my own brothers. I wasn't raised with my brothers, but I was raised with my cousins. I love them dearly.

This morning while I was waking up, I realized just how lucky that we all were to have lost our houses out of state. I haven't seen my cousin much, even though he lives close, but I've seen him a few times a year. I'm even glad I didn't have a car, because he drove me to family gatherings, and we spent even more time together. I'm even glad he got lost that one time and we were a half hour late to dinner, because that was more time to spend together.

You never know what can happen and you never know how a bad thing will be a positive. That's why when bad things happen, I usually don't complain or cry (except this time) because I know that sometimes it changes things for the better.

The recent events have put a damper on my sleep though. I barely have enough time as it is to accomplish all of my goals. Now I have to work till late in the evening to get work done. I'll be spending a bit more time with family so I'll be having less time at home. I'm sure though that something wonderful will come of it all though.

March 13, 2012

Must be that conjunction of Venus and Jupiter in the sky, but life has just gotten too busy the past few weeks. I'm so darn busy that I can't even find the time to finish my daughters taxes so she can get money, or sent my client an invoice so I can get money. Maybe we'll have enough to fix our car, or buy another. That would be nice.

I've been working on design drawings for a client, but I keep thinking about the new headbands I'm going to make, because I have new yarn. I sure hope I find the time to make them. Not that I can get to a model to photograph them. I wonder if I can set up a photo shoot in the park across the street with some hungry models. I can walk or ride a bike there. It's a bit of a walk into the park, but not too bad.

The weather has been so nice here too and I'm working all day and night and can't seem to get out and enjoy it much. I'm thinking retirement is looking better every day. I should have invested wisely. Oh well.

March 11, 2012

Life is funny. It's like recycling. No really. Some people can make beauty out if the dregs, while others just spend thoughtlessly and fill junkyards with their waste. Some people see the future, and some don't invest in their world.

I've been distressed because I (we) am struggling to survive. But in doing so I've learned something I forgot. I learned that homemade bread is cheaper and healthier, that you can stretch a $10 pork roast into 6 meals, and that you can make bracelets out of soda bottles. I've learned that simple is better, that a big house full of stuff serves no purpose, and that when things get tough, there are kind people who lend a hand, and Ive learned to say thank you, instead of no thank you.

Made my first batch of flower pins. Took me longer than estimated, but time will improve as I have learned a better faster way in the making. I also have some waste when I cut flowers. I found a way to use a lot of that waste on the pin backs. That makes me happy. Even though I use recycled materials and have little waste, I hate to throw any out.  

March 1, 2012 - March Comes in Like a Lion

You're starting to know so much more about me than anyone else does, I might as well let you in on a little secret. I promised myself if anything happened, that I had some free time on my hands, I would write a book. Well, for the past four years, I've had lots of time on my hands, but no book. The main reason I'm writing all this down, is just to prove to myself that I can write, four months every day.

It's March, that means I've written for two of the four months everyday. Go me! That in itself is quite an accomplishment. But have I accomplished my goals?

Here's a wrap, this week has been heartbreaking and amazing. There were so many ups and down this week. I haven't had such a roller coaster ride in a long time.

The downs were that our car died, after we put so much money into it. Money we didn't really have to spare. $2000 for a car that only lasted three months and barely that is not good. And then there was the shooting in Chardon. The community we spend so much time in. The school that my daughter's brother in law went to. The school she was considering sending her son to, because his school doesn't have the best programs for him.

First positive was that on the weekend I found I got my Power Seller status on eBay and then Top Seller and later this week I rolled over 1900 feedback with a 99.4% positive rating. Darn that .6% of people who just have to be negative.

And then there were the sales. This week was amazing. I can't believe how many sales I had on all my shops, and at the end of the month. The nice thing is that most of my sales were on Artfire which means I don't have to pay those ridiculous fees on eBay.

Lastly, I got a design commission. I guess updating my profile on linked in payed off. I'll give you a little tip, even if you are a handmade artisan. Join linked in and make as many contacts as you can. Updating your profile sends out notification to your contacts. This reminds people who you are and what you do.

It's been quite a week and I can't wait to see what else March has in store for me.  

February 26, 2012

The best plans can come head on with a child's report that has to be finished in two days and cuts out 3 hours of your day. And it wasn't even my child. I started the day with another photo shoot and plans to edit and list and cut out some things to sew. After editing I had to rescue the grandson from a failing grade.

I did learn something from all this. I learned how to download a cursive font so that the poor kid who is behind his class could copy his huge report that I typed and printed in cursive. I think it will be a good way for him to learn.

I also managed to list a few of my new things. I'm really pleased with my selection. I can't wait to get my new headbands modeled. I need more than 24 hours in a day. 

February 22, 2012

Got a lot of work done today, shipping, photography, networking and even some around the house stuff. I thought I was feeling better, but seems it's pretty good in my lungs now. I can get bronchitis, but chances of my getting pneumonia are slim as I had the pneumonia vaccination when SARS was just starting out in China and no one knew what it was. The people I worked for were ruthless and sent us even thought hey know people were dying, even in some of the factories we worked with.

Funny, I've been hearing about the factory that Apple uses in China and how employees commit suicide over working conditions. I've been in a lot of factories in China, and even the bad ones aren't that bad. I just wonder if it's more the pressure from peers and family that if they are making Apple product, they shouldn't have to be like the rest of the working class. Maybe they think it will be so much better, then when they find it's the same, they can't take it.

Yes they work 14 hour days, but that's usually with a one hour lunch and a 1 ½ hour dinner with food provided by the company. And maybe they get paid $50 a week, but they will get food and a room also. I don't know about the dorms with beds stacked 12 high though. I've never heard of anything that absurd, so maybe the conditions really weren't so great there.

Enough of that, I'm wandering again. I discovered today that I've been neglecting my bread and butter shop. I added a few new Bow Ties and noticed that I had like five aprons that I haven't listed yet. So I started listing some and have to add more later.

I was so exhausted doing the work I did, but was very pleased to finally have a semi clear mind, although I did leave the water running, over filling a gallon with filtered water, while I walked to the bus stop to pick up my grandson. I think that's how my lungs got started. Cleared out some junk that didn't belong there in the first place.

Tomorrow I hope to feel even better and will list more and have a chance to create some more flowers. I also need to get my daughters taxes done so she can get some money back soon.

February 21, 2012

Today I felt better than I have in over two weeks. I only had to take some pain meds once in the morning. I rarely ever take any meds, just my supplements. I've been taking acetaminophen four times a day for over a week. So not like me.

Even though I felt little pain, I guess I'm still shaky. I've been dropping and spilling things all day. Starting with an egg that I miraculously caught after it slipped out of my hand and flew up after bouncing off my hand. It was funny.

Then the sewing machine would just not work right, and when I finally got it to stitch right, I ran out of bobbin thread. Really, three times with three different colors on three orders. After one order was finished I noticed a stain on the vintage fabric. I got it out, but not easy on a finished piece and not necessarily something I wanted to deal with. A few things to be made, should have taken very little time and with cutting ended up taking about 4 hours. And I never even got packaging done yet.

I keep my onions, apples and oranges on hooks on the wall. Just easier that way. The onion bag fell on the floor near the litter box in the dustpan. Gross! Now I have to wash them all and peel them and store them in the fridge. I just realized it was probably because it was on the same hook as the rolling pin my daughter used to make the beignets today.

Finally I went in the kitchen to clean up and put the last of the food away. Huge pot of rice, plenty for another meal, so I put in in a bowl covered with foil. It was like the thing was made of rubber. I put it in it bounced out on the floor. Dumped over and all the rice fell out.

I even had to take a break writing this, because one of the cats dumped a full glass of water all over the table and floor, and the paper masks my grandson made for Mardi Gras so that the black marker ran all over the table.

I did have two very wonderful things happen though. I became a Top Seller on eBay today. I don't even know how that happened, but I'll take the discount that goes with it.

I also wrapped up my website enough that I feel proud to post it. akacinders.com I don't have a shop on it yet, but there are lots of links to my Artfire shop. I'm still not throwing in the towel yet.

February 17, 2012

I was a day behind in my measuring and weighing this week. I lost another pound. Not a big deal as I couldn't smell or taste food, so I didn't really eat too much. I hoped to loose 10 pounds a month and only lost 5 in a month and a half. But it's still progress in the right direction. I'm afraid many of my other goals have fallen short too.

The past two weeks have been a mess fighting off what I thought was a cold, but turned out to be a pretty bad flu virus. My daughters' version involved a very bad sinus infection. Mine was mild sinus and hit my joints and spine, leaving me with a horrible headache for days. I'm better now, but all the extra work I wanted to do was delayed and only the necessary things got done. I was still able to write every day, mostly because there were times I couldn't sleep.

The house is a horrible mess, because my daughter and I were not able to even bend over to pick up after the kids. I did manage to throw out garbage, but bending over to pick up things was out of the question with the headaches we had. Looks like a tornado hit here and now that we're better, cleaning will be a priority next to the product we have to catch up on from sales.

I always try to add a little cushion into my plans. Usually I add a day or two to a project for mishap, but a two week illness is really unexpected. It could be worse. Serious illness or family issues can really mess with life. What would happen if you broke your dominant hand? Would you be prepared for that?

Sometimes it's good to prepare yourself mentally for all possible events. Like having an emergency supply or storm kit. We have 6 gallons of water and a camp stove and a nice little tin can stove that I could use to cook with if we loose power. Six gallons is not a lot of water, but we do have a lake to wash with. Six gallons of drinking water could last us a few days

What kind of “storm kit” could you make for your business?  

February 14, 2012

Today is Valentine's Day. One of the worst ever for me. Not that I don't have a love, but that I've been sick and my daughter is very sick. Her baby is cranky and I've had to help take care of her a lot, because my daughter has a horrible sinus infection. One of those days, when you try to work and it's so hard.

I had to sew and both machines were fighting me. Popped thread on the serger, bunching bobbin thread on the straight stitcher, this is one of the reasons I hate sewing, obstinate machines. I had some imperfect vintage fabric to work with that needed a LOT of work on. Pilling, I hate removing pills. It took a long time. And then I had to package to ship, late at night because it was the only chance I had.

I was able to review and decide on my logo while I was cradling the sleeping baby. So hard to work with one hand. I admire those who work with disabilities. I really have a hard time using the computer with one hand. I even did some photo editing, but the commands I use with 2 keys simultaneously are so hard to do with one very small hand. At least I have a touchpad, not a mouse. That would be so much harder.

I made the final decision on the logo, and although it's not finished yet, I can start working on the things that will use it. Then when I get it back, I can just drop it in the places I need. Finally progress.

I've also decided to calculate how much profit I will make at wholesale, and how many pieces I need to sell to make a decent wage. I hate doing that, because thats why I decided to go into product design in the first place. Although now I do know of better ways to sell my product than back then. Artists and Crafters are much more respected and placed than they were 20 years ago.

I will have to post my results on both my blogs for you to see and see how I came to whatever conclusion I made. Wish me luck.

February 12, 2012

I was remembering the first time I built a porch railing. It seemed so daunting. There were 2 columns (actually 4, 2 at each corner) and I had to construct 2 newel posts railing and balusters. I also had 2 old flower boxes I wanted to save and mount on the front balusters.

My pictures are in a box in storage somewhere, but I found this picture on Google Maps. I also found my childhood home. You can move around the whole street, the whole neighborhood. I find it very creepy that someone cam out to those neighborhoods and took all of that photography to post on Google maps. I always thought those guys hanging out on the streets were surveyors. I think some of them were Google spies.

The Newels were the hardest to construct. I didn't just buy them. I built a frame and constructed a hollow post over it. There was a square plate with a short 4X4 screwed to the porch, and a 4X4 piece at the top. Then a square top with a round finial.

The railing was not as hard as I thought because the railing has spots for the balusters to sit. It was a little tricky, because you either assemble the whole railing and mount it or assemble the bottom with balusters and try to fit on the top. I opted for that, because I really didn't want to try to hold up the completed piece and attach the top and bottom rails all at the same time. I had some help, but it was not an easy thing to accomplish with even 4 hands.

It was something I wasn't sure I could do, never did before, and in the end, was very pleased with the results. I wish I could show you a picture of the porch with flowers in the boxes.

If I was a bit younger, the challenges I've given myself would not be so daunting. I would be sure I could accomplish them and tackle anything that got in my way. I'm not so young anymore. Not that age should matter, but sometimes it can be a barrier to others.

Did you know that health insurance can cost an employer twice as much for employees over 60 as for employees under 60? Not really fair, but a fact. So what to the people who turn 60 with no job prospects do until they turn 66 and are eligible for Medicare? Or depending on their age, maybe older.

Well if I don't get the Flower Jewelry business going, or get a job designing product, I can always install porch railings.

February 1, 2012

I saw a skein of yarn online and I thought of how many interesting things we used to touch and do with our hand when I was young. Seems like all we do is touch keys or buttons these days. \

When I was young, yarn came in a huge skein. You untwisted it and two of you would make a ball of yarn of it. One would hold the skein, while the other wound the ball. It was a wonderful sensation, so relaxing. Letters were typed on a typewriter. When you got to the end of the paper, a little bell would ding and you hit the carriage return to roll the paper up and start the next line. Telephones had rotary dials that had this kind of tug and your fingers when you spun the dial and a clicking return.

I used to use an old egg beater to make eggs when I was young. You held the handle with one hand and turned a crank with the others. My grandfather mowed our lawn with a spindle mower. No need for gas or wires. And when you needed to change the channel on the TV, you got up off you butt, walked over to the TV and changed it. OK so maybe there WERE only three channels to choose from back then.

I love to work with my hands. I love to craft, to build and to garden. Maybe the reason so many people are making and selling crafts these days is to do something with their hands.

I'm feeling the weight of nothing going right today. Recent purchases are screwed up. Sales are dropping rapidly. I remember last year feeling the pinch. I don't even have tax return to look forward to because I owe about $3000 in back taxes, long story. We could really use the car repaired too, but I'll be lucky to make enough to survive on.

The thing that amazes me is that each of the past 5 years, we earn less and less, and yet we seem to do OK. It really can't get too much worse. I'm trying to make a go of my craft, but I think I may have to “get a real job”. Just a little down in the dumps today. Feeling there are just not enough people out there who like my product, to support myself, no matter what I offer.

January 29, 2012

What an eventful week it was. I've been very overworked, mostly in the creative area. My week started as a featured artist on my venue. Wonderful. It ended with our car breaking down again and a need to kill or throttle our cat who peed in the baby's new high chair. I think he's jealous of her.

Today I took more pictures of my tiny two flower bouquet brooches. I'm so thrilled with them. They turned out so nice. I even made a pick your own bouquet, with lots of flowers to choose from.

I'm also very excited about the logo that a friend is working on for me. I wasn't even considering making a real logo. It's really coming along nicely.

I'm also getting tiny envelopes to put tiny packets of seeds with my jewelry. I need to design little labels for them too. They will be so cute. I'll be using them mostly for shops in the US, but I'll have to consider what I will offer for internationals that can't receive agricultural items.

I'm trying to think of everything that I could possibly encounter.

This week I hope to work on both of my websites. My sewing is almost caught up. Which is good, because usually business is really slow for me this time of year. I really need to finish getting spreadsheets done for taxes too.

I realized that I've lost a lot of sales since I was “booted off” Etsy, but I got lazy there. I know what I make is good, I just need to get off my butt and sell it in person. I also got a suggestion to have people wear my product with business card in hand. People all over the country. Well I know people all over the country and I'm going to work on that too. 

Watch out friends, you may receive flowers, business cards and a request from me.  

January 17, 2012

Wondering why I keep writing about things from my past? Memories like those are what I am made of. They are what I use to base my decisions making on. We all have a vast amount of experience and memories that we compile and pull from when we make decisions. Sometimes that is what and why we dream, to sort things out.

When I was in College, I would program myself to problem solve during my sleep. If I had a project or problem I couldn't figure out, I would think about it before I went to sleep and most often I would wake up with the solution. The mind is an amazing machine.

I seem to solve things better when I'm asleep, because when I'm awake there is so little focus. I'm supposed to be planning my flower jewelry packaging and new merchandise, and working on my design portfolio. So what do I think about in the tub today? My dream tiny house. I even started imagining plans and dimensions today. I really want a tiny house. I'd love to have one on a little piece of semi secluded land. I want it to be eco, with a composting toilet and solar panels, maybe a small cistern for collecting water. I don't want to be overly eco though, because I want t full sized tub, not just a teeny shower. I think I want a small full refrigerator too. And I can't be totally off the grid. I need my Internet.

I did my photo shoot today. Model was great, but lighting was not. I also had too many things to do, so only took one picture of most. Bad idea. Some were kind of hazy. But they are more for atmosphere and teasing anyhow. Most of them will do just fine. I wasn't crazy about the lighting in some shots. There were shadows that I didn't like much. But I do have a lot of new product for the shop.

Working my tail off on my flower jewelry and accessory shop, and what do I sell? Aprons, bow ties and Aprons, clutches and Aprons.  

January 16, 2012

The first time I went to China to develop painted finishes (not my first trip to China) I had a horrible cold. I was working at a factory where no one spoke English and I had a translator/manager that was new and didn't understand paint or paint terms. Nothing could be translated for me. I had to be creative and I had to use other terms that could be understood.

The finish manager, brought me solvents for the paint and pointed me to two different sections of paint. There were 2 sections. She held the solvents in front of my nose so I could tell which was which. (I'm sure that was healthy for me to inhale the fumes) Unfortunately I had the worst cold I had in years and could not smell a thing. I had no idea what I had. I tried to explain, but I don't think it was translated well.

I sat at a table made for me and tried to work with the paints. I must have looked like a total fool as I tried to mix water with lacquer based paint. The finish workers must have thought “who was this fool they brought in”? Again the manager ran the solvents under my nose. Finally I asked for water based paints for me to work with. I got that through by acting like I was drinking the solvent. She brought me a few jars of dried up, fairly useless paint.

This was going to be tough. I was used to developing finishes with latex. Because latex was costly and not as flexible, and it is legal to use more volatile paints in China, they used the solvent based paints. I have to admit, once I got used to them (and the fumes) they were much easier to work with. After a few days, the shop manager realized I was sick, and she helped me with the paint problem.

They were used to having unknowledgable people come in the factory and demand the impossible. I told them, I would never make them do something I couldn't do myself. If they told me something was impossible, I would take the piece from the worker and do the task myself. It shut down the whining, because that was embarrassing, more so there than here. But I gave great praise at a job well done.

If you think buyers are hard to communicate with, try giving instructions to Chinese factory workers through a translator that does not understand the processes you are trying to explain. Sometimes you really have to get creative communicating. I did much better without the translator in the end.

Today I assembled 11 new single flower on chain necklaces and 5 headbands. I do need to make more headbands and some fascinators. I am so excited about my photo shoot tomorrow. I've started listing today, but will edit when I get the modeled pictures.

I also sold several sewn pieces. I'm so torn about this whole thing. Maybe I need to send out emissaries to wear my jewelry and pass out business cards across the country. It does seem that I'm enjoying this now, but I actually really enjoyed working in the factories in China. Hmmmm.  

January 15, 2012

My ex husband had Hepatitis C. He was diagnosed while we were separated, just before the divorce. He refused to believe it, probably because he didn't want to give up drinking. When he started having serious health problems the diagnosis was confirmed and he started to get treatment shortly before he remarried. After living with him for 19 years, obviously I could have contracted it from him. Not necessarily, but a possibility.

I mentioned the possibility to my Doctors, but they were good Doctors. They wouldn't test me until I showed symptoms. And you don't need to treat without symptoms. You see, at the time it was possible for an insurance company to drop my coverage just because I had Hepatitis C, or if I got new insurance, it would be a preexisting condition. My Doctors were protecting me. But I was cautious.

My first grandson lived with me, I helped to raise him. I didn't know if I carried the disease so I was always overly cautious. I worried that a bloody hangnail, or a cut could infect him. Unlike my usual casual attitude about cleanliness, I was overly clean. I also worried that I might have exposed my own children, as I didn't know for sure, when my ex was exposed (although I had an idea) or if I was, and when. It was hard, because I always worried about harming my family. And then the laws changed. That was when the health privacy laws went into effect. I finally got my test and thankfully I didn't have Hepatitis C.

Some things in life you have no control over, no matter how much planning, preventing, and worrying you do. Some things in life turn out for the best, no matter how dim the prospects.

Today, I actually got a little work done. I tinted a few acrylic beads, and cut, sculpted and assembled a few flowers. I also got a brilliant idea about packaging. And it was a direct result of a lovely floral image from Pinterest. I can't begin to praise that site. For a visual artist it is the greatest source of inspiration you can get from your sofa. Granted, travel is best, but with a limited budget, Pinterest is definitely a strong second.

I also tried my new headband on my darling 2 month old granddaughter and it looked so cute, I have to make her a shorter version now.

I'm really looking forward to making some packaging samples and discussing them with some of my professional friends.  

January 12, 2012

Look at that date 1-12-2012, seems magical doesn't it? We'll see. I can't believe I've been posting for a week. It seems so much longer. Maybe because I am actually working, although it doesn't seem like it. I should be finishing new sewn items to list, I'm also supposed to help listing fabric, we need the money and we also need the room. My daughter has once again flowed with the tide of change. She has changed her offerings to meet her demand, at the expense of closing a shop and all her original designs that go with it.

Today is my weigh in. I'm not happy about it. But I'll get back to that later. I had a good week, but too many cookies last night.

After looking through product pictures and drawings, I thought I'd share a few here. I have so many drawings, because I was freelancing for 3 companies who were presenting to lots of retailers. I just can't believe how much I did in such a short time.

OK so I weighed in, and I didn't like it so I waited, and weighed in again, and again before lunch. Not doing really well there, I hope the measurement thing works better. I've been pretty good and I weight the same. I certainly hope it's because I've gained muscle. Yeah, that's it.

I did get some good news today. Monday I was featured on a blog. Today I found out that I'm going to be featured on the site I sell and and on their blog. Very happy about that. But I really need to get my shop in better shape before that. I need to make a few new things and take some great pictures. So the portfolio has to go on the back burner for a week or two, and I'm really into that one now. Going to be hard to keep me away. Maybe at night when I can't make jewelry.

See I can find something to complain about even when I have good news.

January 4, 2012

Putting it down on “paper” is motivating me to work harder toward my goals. At least I'm thinking of what I need to do to organize. I'm certainly not closer to finding my path, but I am thinking of what I need to lead me there.

My goal is to find a career that not only makes me happy, but can feed me and put a roof over my head. Right now I barely make enough to pay my bills and my tiny share of the rent with my Daughter.

There are other things to consider. Now, I don't have insurance, but if I get really sick, I can go to the local hospital and all my bills will be taken care of because of my low income. If I make just enough amount more, I'd have to pay. That could lower my overall free income.

Also, at the moment, my student loans are in forbearance, with just a bit more income, I might be expected to pay the absurd $600 a month payment. Who has $600 extra a month? Really absurd. I had to go to school when the interest rate was 9.5 percent. I've already consolidated so I can lower the interest if I go back to school and get out another loan.

Another consideration? In a little over a year, I'll be eligible to receive Social Security survivor benefits. Seems that unpleasant man I was married to for 19 years was worth something after all. I think I can talk to Social Security about it later this year. I have no idea how much I might receive. But still, 80% what he would have made, even if it was $1000 a (If I earned more I would have to pay back a percentage) what would I have left after student loans?

This is all making my head spin. Basically I have to figure out how much I need to make and work from there. Can I earn what I need selling on the Internet? Not sure. Certainly not what I'm doing now. Maybe selling vintage legos or electronics on eBay. I do like making my own hours. Maybe I could make more money if I spam. Oh, but I just don't have the heart for that.

Now, I just need to work on getting things together for either career I might choose. For product design, I've started organizing a portfolio. OK, so I created a new file and looked through all my drawing files and dragged ones I liked into a the new folder. But at least I did something.

I also need to try to make new drawings on a program I bought a few years ago, and didn't take the time to learn. Now is a perfect time to do that. A new project on my list. I used to do 2D Cad and this is 3D. Scary!

I need to make some statement pieces for my Flower Jewelry website. I'm thinking of embroidery on the felt and yarn wrapped bangle bracelets. I still have to sketch out ideas. I never sketch anymore. I really need to start that too. I need colored pencils, but for now I'll sketch in black and white.

I didn't exercise today, but I did haul groceries a very long way down the hill in the snow. I also ate fairly well so far, at least no big pile of cookies. But I did eat beef twice, and I hardly eat it at all anymore.

Tomorrow I will exercise a little and do my sketches. I also need to figure out if there is something I can recycle to make my bangles with. Oh and I want to make a large collar necklace. A leather base would be nice, but I think I'd rather something eco friendly. Hmmm, maybe old tire tube rubber, flexible and sturdy.