March 8, 2012

March 7, 2012

Sometimes I think I am so dysfunctional. I know a lot of you out there think you are too. Am I really? Or is it just that when I am strong and self reliant, or opinionated and aggressive, I must be a bitch. Or at least that's how society looks at it.

Once at a bar, the bartender made me a foamy drink to play a stupid game with. I was supposed to end up with the foam all over me to look like I had performed some sex act. So funny right? It was in a plastic cup. I told the guy I wouldn't play and I was going to make a mess of it. I warned him and said “OK I'm going to do this now” holding my clenched fist over the glass. He smiled and said “OK”. Women aren't the only dumb blonds.

I smashed my fist down on the glass, with a huge smile on my face, and at such an angle that the foam splashed more the bartender's direction. He was furious. I was such a bitch. I reminded him that I told him I wasn't going to play his demeaning game and that I warned him before I did it. He just kept cursing while he cleaned up the mess. I doubt to this day, that he completely understood what happened. He just thinks I'm a crazy bitch and he was a cool dude.

So the question is, am I dysfunctional, or has society made me think I am? Every time I get a great job, I end up butting heads with an arrogant male who is sure they know more about everything than I do. Not that they are all that way, but many of the team or company leaders are. I have worked with some pretty wonderful men who have had my back, because they were raised to think women CAN know a thing or two.

OK so I still think I'm dysfunctional. At least a bit, because I do not have the ability to kiss ass or take abuse without fighting back.

I also remember when I first learned CAD drawings. My whole design team, drew by hand and then engineers redrew what we did on CAD to send to factories. I asked my boss if I could take a little time on a free computer to try to do a simple project. For the next few months I went from computer, to computer, where the engineers were out of the office and taught myself CAD, or learned from some of the guys.

Because I did such great work, I was given a computer of my own to design on. No one in the Design Department had computers. Well, it was after all the end of the 20th Century. We didn't email our communications with China factories, we faxed them.

I didn't think it was fair, and one of the other designers actually knew CAD. I tried to get computers for everyone but it wasn't happening. We were actually the only department that didn't have computers. Well, the director did and the assistant did too.

I decided, to send an email from my computer to all the heads of the company, including the owner and my boss as to the benefits and cost savings to the company if the whole department had computers to work with. You would think I sent bomb threats to everyone. I could not believe the reaction. It was like I committed the biggest sin. How dare I stand up for my fellow designers, after all, there was no money in the budget for the largest company of this particular product to get computers for designers. And what no one could understand, was why I would ask for them when I already had one.

It really did cause a lot of problems, but the department eventually all got computers, and most of the designers learned CAD and used the computers to design with. We also got interns that I eventually supervised and all in all. I saved the company a lot of time and money. MEN!!!


  1. Happy Women's Day to you Cinders! If not bowing down is being dysfunctional, I'll probably pride myself on that too! ;)

  2. Haha, yes, men! Being an engineer, that's all I worked with! First, they wanted to date me. Then marry me. (One did, lucky guy.) I loved the old guys - they were all so sweet and kind to me. It's the young ones that were jerks. I even had one of my "friends" - one of my peers that used to go out with our group - tell me that if I just lost 5 pounds, I would have guys crawling all over me. I was so shocked and upset by him telling me this in my office I didn't know what to say!

    I was a bit naive I suppose. I learned quite a few new words from that guy and I'm glad I didn't go to school where he was part of a "tang gang." Gee, I wonder how he feels now that he has 3 daughters in or near college age?

    But usually, perhaps it my Irish, I'm a fighter. I speak up and fight for what I believe it right. However, sometimes you can get beaten down so many times that you think it's not worth it to fight anymore.

    Before this becomes a really rambling stream of consciousness....I guess I'm saying that dysfunctional or not, you are true to yourself - and I think that is the best that a person can be!

  3. Unfortunately to many men, a strong, smart woman = bitch. I think it's because they are secretly scared of us and try to hide it behind a lot of macho BS . . .