January 4, 2012

Putting it down on “paper” is motivating me to work harder toward my goals. At least I'm thinking of what I need to do to organize. I'm certainly not closer to finding my path, but I am thinking of what I need to lead me there.

My goal is to find a career that not only makes me happy, but can feed me and put a roof over my head. Right now I barely make enough to pay my bills and my tiny share of the rent with my Daughter.

There are other things to consider. Now, I don't have insurance, but if I get really sick, I can go to the local hospital and all my bills will be taken care of because of my low income. If I make just enough amount more, I'd have to pay. That could lower my overall free income.

Also, at the moment, my student loans are in forbearance, with just a bit more income, I might be expected to pay the absurd $600 a month payment. Who has $600 extra a month? Really absurd. I had to go to school when the interest rate was 9.5 percent. I've already consolidated so I can lower the interest if I go back to school and get out another loan.

Another consideration? In a little over a year, I'll be eligible to receive Social Security survivor benefits. Seems that unpleasant man I was married to for 19 years was worth something after all. I think I can talk to Social Security about it later this year. I have no idea how much I might receive. But still, 80% what he would have made, even if it was $1000 a (If I earned more I would have to pay back a percentage) what would I have left after student loans?

This is all making my head spin. Basically I have to figure out how much I need to make and work from there. Can I earn what I need selling on the Internet? Not sure. Certainly not what I'm doing now. Maybe selling vintage legos or electronics on eBay. I do like making my own hours. Maybe I could make more money if I spam. Oh, but I just don't have the heart for that.

Now, I just need to work on getting things together for either career I might choose. For product design, I've started organizing a portfolio. OK, so I created a new file and looked through all my drawing files and dragged ones I liked into a the new folder. But at least I did something.

I also need to try to make new drawings on a program I bought a few years ago, and didn't take the time to learn. Now is a perfect time to do that. A new project on my list. I used to do 2D Cad and this is 3D. Scary!

I need to make some statement pieces for my Flower Jewelry website. I'm thinking of embroidery on the felt and yarn wrapped bangle bracelets. I still have to sketch out ideas. I never sketch anymore. I really need to start that too. I need colored pencils, but for now I'll sketch in black and white.

I didn't exercise today, but I did haul groceries a very long way down the hill in the snow. I also ate fairly well so far, at least no big pile of cookies. But I did eat beef twice, and I hardly eat it at all anymore.

Tomorrow I will exercise a little and do my sketches. I also need to figure out if there is something I can recycle to make my bangles with. Oh and I want to make a large collar necklace. A leather base would be nice, but I think I'd rather something eco friendly. Hmmm, maybe old tire tube rubber, flexible and sturdy.